


Hit the Books

by shxme



Series: hit the books (a high school au) [1]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: High School AU, High School Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, sorry in advance, writing is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shxme/pseuds/shxme
Summary: The end of the school year is upon them and a lot of things have changed. Grades, friend groups, clothing styles, and even height.Some things haven't changed, however.Rhaast still gets angry. He's trying.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by the au by @phsfg on tumblr! I recommend you at least familiarize yourself with the character designs/au on their blog cause thats basically what’s going on here. I say inspired tho cause this is kinda different. you can probably(???) read this without looking at their blog but you might need to connect a lot of dots in your brain.
> 
>  
> 
> I wanted to write a hs au that was more lighthearted, but i still wanted to stay true to the characters in my view and involve angst so idk where the fuck we are right now. (it’s HARD WRITING DANGEROUS CHARACTERS AS HS STUDENTS AH)
> 
> its not that good but this ship needs more content and ive been sitting on this for weeks.
> 
> Its completely finished and basically unedited (besides one pass through lol). the second (and final) part will be posted day after tomorrow. enjoy

Evelynn finds Rhaast at lunch. She sits down right next to him in the bustling cafeteria, makeup perfectly done and a knowing smile dancing across her face. 

“Are you and Shieda a couple?” She asks, cozying up to him like she does with everyone.

Rhaast puts down his half eaten sandwich. “What?”

Eve examines her fingers, a sparkly pink nail file in one hand. “Shieda Kayn?” She doesn't even look at him. “Are you dating him?”

****

His opinion on Evelynn is confusing. She hangs out with his brother’s circle of friends, but not Rhaast’s. He doesn’t really like how she gets so close so fast, appearing out of nowhere to blow a kiss and steal a secret. A gossip queen. 

A piece of lettuce is stuck in his braces. He works it out with his tongue while Eve scuffs her long nails. 

“No,” he answers shortly. “We’re not.”

“Took you a while to answer,” Evelynn responds instantly. She puts the nail file back into her purse and pulls out her phone instead. “Not so sure?”

“I’m not dating anyone.” Rhaast nudges her with his shoulder in an effort to give himself some personal space. It doesn’t work. 

She glances up from her phone, fluttering her dark lashes at him sweetly. “Really? Because rumor has it, you guys were making out in the basement bathroom like two days ago for a  _ really  _ long time.”

He isn’t in the mood for this at all. He just wants to eat his lunch in peace without a conniving cheerleader stuck to his arm. However, the gears in his brain still turn. 

“Rumor?” He repeats. How did she find out? It’s too specific to be from Aatrox, if his brother had caught him making out with Shieda then they would have known for sure. Evelynn’s methods are mysterious. 

Her lips purse together as she tilts her head and snaps a photo of herself. “Yes a rumor, that’s why I’m asking, silly.”

He grinds his teeth. A bad habit. “Where did you hear it from?”

Evelynn hums in thought, swiping between photo filters. “Don’t really remember actually. You know me, I get told so much gossip it gets hard to keep track of the sources.”

“Bullshit.”

She presses even closer to him, sliding her arm around his own and angling her phone towards both of them.

“That’s life,” she sighs dramatically. “There  _ are  _ downsides to being popular, Rhaast. Not that you’d know, with your temper.”

He  _ does  _ shove her away now, officially annoyed. “Go bother someone else.”

Evelynn pouts. “Proving my point. And I was only trying to  _ help _ too.” She gets up from the seat, but leans close to Rhaast anyway. “I was only wondering cause if you  _ were _ I would have told you that I heard a spicy rumor that he was like, crying in that same bathroom earlier today.”

Now  _ this  _ surprises him. “Wait what? Why?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I shouldn’t even be telling you this since you guys aren’t a thing. Might not even be true.”

“He never cries.”

Evelynn waves her hand idly. “You’d know, wouldn’t you? I guess some rumors are really rumors then.” She blows a kiss at Rhaast. “I gotta go meet with a teacher. Let me know if you ever want a study buddy, kay? I’d be happy to tutor you for your trig final if you’d let me spend some time admiring those big baseball arms.”

“You’re such a thot,” Rhaast grumbles.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” A sly smile stretches across her face. “And say hi to Aatrox for me.” 

****

Rhaast thinks about what she’d said while he finishes his lunch. Shieda doesn’t cry. It’s not him that was crying in the restroom. If anything  _ he  _ would make people cry. His confidence can be absurdly intimidating when someone first talks to him. 

****

However in chemistry after lunch, Rhaast looks at Shieda, at the boy he’s spent  _ plenty  _ of alone time with. His eyes are red and puffy. Not obvious enough for everyone to notice perhaps, but obvious enough for Rhaast.

****

Shit. 

****

***

****

Rhaast and Kayn are not “a thing.” They are not dating and if they sometimes meet during free periods or between classes to make out then that’s just how it is. If they can be found glued together right after school lets out then that is just a fact of life. Like Evelynn and her web of gossip, or Ekko acing every test because he’s some sort of freakin genius.

Sometimes Rhaast thinks about what it would be like to date Shieda but he abandons that train of thought quickly. What they have isn’t particularly romantic. They’ve never gone to dinner or held hands in the hallway like couples do. They don’t even talk that much, just orbit around each other in comfortable agreement.

Even so, despite his reputation, Rhaast cares, so after Chemistry he makes a beeline towards Shieda.

“Hey.”

Kayn stuffs his textbook into his backpack. “Hi Rhaast.” He flips his braid over his shoulder, just the way Rhaast likes.

“Bathroom?” He asks, hovering over Kayn’s shoulder as he zips his bag closed.

“Nah.” Shieda hands him his backpack, Rhaast takes it grudgingly, ignoring a slap on his shoulder as Jarvan passes behind him. Kayn sees the way he tenses. “Walk me to class.” his hand ghosts across Rhaast’s wrist, the slightest touch and that’s all.

Rhaast has never been known for his subtlety. He doesn’t know how to go about that kind of shit. At the same time Kayn is  _ all about  _ subtlety. Every quick movement and sharp word spells out secret promises and poisons, except Rhaast has always been  _ shit _ at reading. He tries for Shieda though, and he thinks maybe Shieda tries to keep it simple for Rhaast too. 

So as they climb the staircase to the third floor Rhaast keeps it simple. “You good?”

“I’m fine,” Kayn replies without skipping a beat. “Do you have practice today?”

“Away game.” Rhaast shrugs. 

“Lame,” Shieda scoffs. “Kick their ass.”

“Always do, babe.” The word escapes from nowhere. Rhaast doesn’t try to excuse it and he knows Kayn notices.

****

Shieda looks at him as he stops outside his classroom. The redness around his eyes is painfully visible. To him at least. Rhaast wants to ask—

“Shie, what’s wrong?”

Kayn reaches for his backpack but Rhaast doesn’t let it go easily, waiting for an answer.

“Not now, Rhaast.” Kayn tries to peel his fingers away but it doesn’t work.

“When?” The halls are quickly emptying, the last groups of stragglers currently heading to class. Rhaast will be late, his class is a floor down, but he doesn’t care. 

Kayn rolls his eyes. He leans up on his tiptoes and kisses him, right in the hallway. Rhaast is still as stone in surprise. They never kiss in blatant public. Because they’re not a couple. The backpack is ripped from his grip while he’s frozen.

“I said not now,  _ babe _ .” Kayn smirks. He reaches up to ruffle the top of Rhaast’s hair. 

“No PDA in the halls,” Garen reminds them annoyingly as he slips behind them into the classroom. Jarvan’s shoulder knocks against Rhaast’s roughly as he follows Garen. Rhaast’s eyebrow twitches in annoyance.

****

Shieda glances over his shoulder at Jarvan, eyes narrow, then he looks back at Rhaast. “Later then.”

****

***

****

He doesn’t see Kayn for the rest of the day. Their schedules don’t cross much after lunch. Instead Rhaast is stacked with miserable study guides and notecards and other pre-finals bullshit. Evelynn catches him right before he gets to Trigonometry, his last class of the day. Pyke is with her, looking quiet and relatively disinterested. 

“Is it true then?” She prods, fingers flashing across her phone screen, nails clicking as she sends a text.

Rhaast  _ really  _ doesn’t want to deal with this.

“What?” He asks through gritted teeth.

“You and Shie. You’re official now.” He doesn’t like her calling him that. Only Rhaast gets away with using that nickname.

“No,” he growls. “We’re not. I’m going to class.”

“Really?” She always gets so  _ close.  _ Usually Rhaast can deal with it, but he can’t today. At least, he can’t right now. “Heard from Cass that you were making out in the halls.”

“I—“ Rhaast grumbles, exasperated. “It was  _ one  _ kiss. We’re not a thing. Fuck off.”

Eve laughs, but she seems to tell that his storm is brewing so she backs up. “Whatever you say, honey.”

How can Aatrox stand her? Rhaast doesn’t know. 

****

***

****

The next morning Rhaast sifts through the mess of leftover paper and garbage at the bottom of his locker, looking for his old notes. Kayn usually meets him here in the morning but today he hasn’t shown up at all. Not altogether unusual, but the added fact that Kayn had apparently been in tears yesterday causes Rhaast to prickle with unease.

He doesn’t find his old notes, instead he finds  _ Evelynn _ . Or—she finds him instead. He’s  _ not  _ in the mood. Away games always means that Rhaast gets home too late and last night was no exception. He’d scored some vicious hits at least. Three home runs and a victory to boot.

****

Eve has her pocket mirror out and she applies a fresh coat of lip gloss as she approaches. 

“Hey Rhaast.” She snaps the mirror closed. “Heard you won your game last night. Congrats.”

“Yeah,” he says grudgingly. “Thanks.”

Evelynn hums. “Y’know what else I heard?”

She’s waiting for him to bite, to fall into her trap. And even if Rhaast is aware of it, he still wants to know. Evelynn seems to have secrets and information about everyone, so if he happens to be in her good graces then that is an advantage. 

“What?” He tugs her line. A fish taking the easy bait.

“I heard Shieda studied in the library till eight last night.”

Rhaast lets out a low breath. “Okay...”

****

Perhaps for other people that would seem normal. The school library is open late every day during the week before finals. Plenty of students study there. Kayn isn’t one of those people. He’s smart. School comes easy to him, Rhaast thinks, just a little jealous. Shieda never studies more than five minutes before tests and quizzes. Finals have never been an exception—until now apparently.

“How’d you know that?” Rhaast closes his locker. First period starts soon. 

“I have my ways.” Evelynn grins. 

He raises an eyebrow, not in the mood. Never in the mood.

“The dance team went late yesterday,” she admits cheekily. “I saw him all by his lonesome when I passed by.”

That makes more sense. “Why do you even care?”

Her long nails dance up his arm. “Oh honey, you know me. I’m just trying to help, in my own special way.”

Rhaast snorts.  _ “Trying to help,” _ He mimics. “If you’re really trying to help then give me some beef on someone else that I can use.”

She sighs airily. “You’re lucky I like you. If you’re  _ really  _ interested in drama, then have you noticed how much time Lux is spending with that new weird kid? Can’t believe they’d even hang out, he doesn't seem like the rest of her social circle at  _ all.” _

Rhaast shakes his head, uncaring. “Boring.”

Eve huffs. “Not juicy enough? Fine. Kat and Garen hooked up at a party last Sunday.”

Now  _ this _ catches his interest. “Really?”

_ “Apparently _ Irelia walked in on them sucking face in the closet.”

“Perfect.” He doesn’t care for Garen. Or his friend Jarvan.  _ Especially _ Jarvan. Stuck up pricks.

“You flatter me.” Evelynn blows him a kiss. “Did you say hi to Aatrox for me?”

“No.” He hadn’t talked to Aatrox at all last night.

“You’d better do it today.” Evelynn pokes him in the chest with one sharp finger. She tugs her designer bag closer. “Catch you later, cutie.”

“Bye.” 

He presses his forehead against the cool metal of his locker. Something restless eats away at his already thin patience. 

****

***

****

Between first period English and second period Study Hall, Rhaast has plenty of time to think about Kayn. And yesterday. Shieda kissed him in public. He doesn’t know why that matters so much to him. It’s not like other people haven’t caught them in the bathroom or by the baseball field. The two of them are an open secret throughout the school. _Rhaast_ _and_ _Shieda_ the two loners. A not-couple. 

****

They are  _ not _ “a thing.” They don’t do that relationship shit. 

****

(Rhaast wonders why not.)

****

Maybe since Jarvan and Garen had been so close by? They always manage to piss Rhaast off with their mere presence. A couple of condescendingly snobbish assholes.

****

His head hurts from thinking about this. 

****

At least the next two classes distract him from his confusing relationship thoughts. Rhaast does notice a few extra curious glances—maybe they heard—but he ignores it. Instead, he listens to music while he finishes his final projects and missing work.

****

He hopes that Kayn will be waiting for him outside class after fourth period. They often meet up before Rhaast goes to lunch. Shieda is not there. However,  _ Garen  _ and  _ Jarvan  _ both are, probably waiting for another friend from a neighboring classroom. 

Rhaast puts in his earbuds, deciding not to wait around. Clearly Shieda is being scarce on purpose. 

****

He hears Jarvan’s quiet scoff just before he turns his music up.

****

Okay. He pulls out his earbuds, knuckles suddenly aching. A fight would be perfect right now. He knows that’s something he’s supposed to avoid but—it would be  _ so _ — _ perfect  _ right now. On stormy days Rhaast misses all the fights he used to get into. 

Jarvan meets his gaze evenly, eyes cold. 

“Hey.” He nods stiffly. His friend Xin comes out of the class next to him, yet another arrogant ass.

“Hey,” Rhaast echoes. He runs his tongue over his braces. 

Jarvan doesn’t look away. He clears his throat. “You and Shieda are finally official?”

“No.” He’s sick of all this talk about them.

“Could have fooled me,” Jarvan mutters disapprovingly. 

“Don’t know why you care so much.” Rhaast takes a step closer. This is one of the busiest hallways and students cut past them as they move to lunch or class or wherever the hell they’re going. 

“I  _ don’t _ care.” Jarvan’s tone quickly matches Rhaast’s own aggressiveness. “I just don’t like you.”

His knuckles ache. One pop on the chin. He knows he shouldn’t. Why does Jarvan have to be so punchable? He can’t ruin this though, so he grits his teeth instead. 

****

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He says dangerously.

A few students have stopped to watch the hallway standoff. Garen puts his hand on Jarvan’s shoulder but the boy shrugs it off. 

“You’re such a bad influence,” Jarvan sneers. “One of those delinquents-in-training that goes to jail for robbing a gas station after graduation.”

He can hear the blood pounding in his ears. A war drum. The stamp of feet on a battlefield. 

“Shieda used to have other friends before he met you. What’d you do to make him be your boyfriend? Threaten him?” Every word twists Rhaast further into a rage. His knuckles are white around the straps of his backpack.

“I worry about Kayn,” Jarvan adds to Xin. “Honestly.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” He’s so  _ tired _ of people butting in and talking about him and Kayn as if it’s any of their business. 

“Yeah.” Jarvan tips his head. “Because you’re not gay. Or something. I think that makes it worse.”

Garen reaches to Jarvan again but is shrugged off once more.

“You  _ shut _ the fuck up,” Rhaast snarls.

Jarvan’s eyes narrow. “Or what? You’re all bark and no bite.  _ Hit _ me. I’ll take one for the team if it means I get to have a degenerate like you kicked out.”

He  _ really  _ wants to. There’s no one to stop him, Aatrox and Varus aren’t there to wrestle him away or talk him down. He should really walk himself down to the social worker’s office like he was told to at the beginning of the year. 

****

But he inches nearer instead.

****

Jarvan must know that Kayn is a sore spot for Rhaast, because he continues to spout bullshit. 

“So what is it then? You’re one of those ‘straight’ dudes that just happens to get hard-ons for edgy twinks?” Jarvan’s eyes glitter.

He’s had enough.

“Or maybe you’re just dating Shieda because you can’t find a girl with the same shitty hair.”

****

Rhaast’s vision flares red. He pivots and sends his fist straight into a locker. The metal gives way enough to leave a sizable dent with a loud crunch. The small crowd shouts in surprise and excitement. His chest is heaving, furious— _ furious.  _

Jarvan stares at him, wide eyed. Rhaast glances around himself, feels the throbbing pain radiate up his wrist. Oh he’s  _ fucked _ up. He sees Evelynn holding up her phone from the sidelines, clearly recording him. 

“Fucking delinquent,” Jarvan spits.

Rhaast’s gone this far, he can go a little farther. He lurches towards Jarvan, fist raised. He doesn’t care. He’s already fucked up.

****

“Hey!” Mr. Yasuo cuts between them, brandishing a yardstick like a sword. “Cool it!” His words dictate total authority and the crowd immediately starts to break up. Mr. Yasuo’s never sounded this  _ awake _ —before. 

The yardstick thumps firmly against Rhaast’s chest. “Take a walk. Go see your social worker. Now.”

Rhaast exhales loudly through his nose. He spins on his heel and stomps away. All the way down to the first floor, then outside the back doors to the lawn. He doesn’t stop until he’s on the very outskirts of school property, by the baseball diamond.

****

He takes all his anger out on the same tree that his team always practices batting baseballs at. For a while Rhaast can’t think of anything but how  _ angry _ he is. he wants to take Jarvan apart. He wants to take the whole  _ world  _ apart. He wants to burn everything down. His past, present, and future all tossed into the fire. Fuck school. Fuck Jarvan. Fuck  _ everything.  _ He’d still punch him if he had the chance. How  _ dare  _ he talk shit like that. What an  _ asshole.  _ Rhaast would knock his lights out. Break his nose to ruin his smug face for good measure. 

He hits and claws and kicks the tree until his overwhelming anger finally eases into a simmering rage. Then his knuckles really start to sting. Rhaast cradles his hand and looks behind him to see—

****

Shieda Kayn sitting in the grass behind him. When did he get there? Is his rage really that deafening? Rhaast’s anger flares up again at seeing him. 

“Are they picking on you?” He asks, far louder than necessary. Still searching— _ “I said not now, babe.”— _ for that answer.

Kayn shakes his head silently. He’s in the middle of redoing his braid, quickly tying up the end with a yellow hair tie.

Rhaast yells. A single noise of anger. Then he flops down onto the grass next to Shieda.

The almost-summer heat presses down on the both of them like a mountain. 

****

“I’m glad you didn’t hit him,” Shieda finally says.

“I’m  _ not,” _ Rhaast shouts at the sky. Angry at the world.

Nimble fingers collect Rhaast’s now bruising hand. He hisses in pain as the pad of Kayn’s thumb brushes over his knuckles. 

“And if you got expelled?” 

“I wouldn’t care,” Rhaast huffs adamantly.

“Liar,” Shieda sighs. 

Rhaast makes another angry noise.

“Are you even going to be able to play like this?” Kayn asks. He pulls out a water bottle from his backpack and drips it over where Rhaast’s skin split on tree bark. 

“There’s only a few days left in the season anyway.” Rhaast mutters, mood still smoldering. “How’d you find me?”

“Eve sent me the whole thing over snap. And I know you.”

He groans. “Of course she would.”

“Yeah.” Shie leans back in the grass so that he’s laying next to Rhaast. The sun and his abating rage makes him feel worn out and empty.

There’s a lump in his throat. He wants to ask—

‘“Did you lose all your old friends because of me?”

Shieda sighs. “I guess. You know that doesn’t matter to me though, I like you.”

****

(He likes him.)

****

“You lost your entire social circle because of me.” The sunlight hurts his eyes. He stops looking at the sky and instead stares at Shieda. 

“I said I don’t  _ care, _ Rhaast. I don’t care about other people’s approval.” Something in Shieda’s tone comes off as defensive. A bit trembling. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he demands. “You said you would.”

They hear the sound of someone approaching behind them. Rhaast sits up. It’s Mr. Braum, campus security. He feels dead inside. Time’s up.

“There you are!” he greets them both, voice as loud and cheery as ever. “Rhaast! Miss Soraka would like a word with you.” 

Rhaast groans. “I have to fucking go, right?” He doesn’t want to. He’s so tired and drained and fed up.

Mr. Braum twists his mustache. “Da!” His thick accent manages to make every situation a bit less tense. “It is okay, I will be with you.”

****

He gets up grudgingly, sore from his red rage. Kayn still lies in the grass. 

Braum picks Rhaast’s backpack up from where is was thrown to the ground. “I trust you’re not skipping class, Shieda?”

“I’m not.” A blatant lie, Rhaast knows it. Shieda should be in gym right now.

“Ah, good!” The big man motions towards Rhaast. “Come Rhaast, let’s go!”

****

***

****

He’s sent home from school early after a horrendously long talk with Miss Soraka. His dad picks him up and in the awkward silence of the ride home Rhaast experiences real regret. Azir’s quiet disappointment weighs heavy. After all their work to help Rhaast, he’s fucked up again.

****

Since his dad has to go back to work, Rhaast sits at home with an ice pack and pretends to be invisible. He debates on texting Shieda, but he decides against it. He practices breathing exercises instead. Five seconds in, five seconds out, five times in a row.

Eventually Varus and Aatrox get home. Varus goes straight to his room, but Aatrox stops by the living room, where Rhaast is trying to drown in the couch cushions like quicksand.

“I’d be fucking furious if we had to move again.”

Rhaast shifts the now significantly less-cold ice pack to his forehead. “Fuck off.”

Aatrox turns away. There’s always that  _ air _ about him. He’s a button that Rhaast is scared to push too hard. Even though they’re brothers he doesn’t understand Aatrox at all. “Good thing we’re not moving.”

****

That is the closest he will get to saying something comforting, and they both know it. The whole point of moving houses and changing schools was just to help Rhaast stop getting into fights. He’d almost fucked it all up again. 

“Evelynn says hi.” Rhaast’s voice cracks.

Aatrox snorts. “Cool.”

****

***

****

The next morning, instead of piling in the car with Aatrox and Varus or riding the bus, Rhaast’s dad drives him into school. The car ride is tense. 

“No fights, correct?” Azir asks.

“No fights,” Rhaast mutters. He leans his forehead against the window. His left hand still aches like hell.

“If you want to talk to me about anything...” his dad starts lightly, words floating and careful. “You always can. School,  _ friends,  _ anything.”

Rhaast narrows his eyes at the glass.  _ Friends.  _ He thinks maybe a makeout session with Kayn is in order. 

Shieda always makes him feel at ease, in his own weird way. 

****  
(He silently mouths the word  _ “babe _ ” to himself.)    



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the other half lol.

He gets a snapchat from Evelynn as he walks down the main hall to the cafeteria, where most students group before school. Rhaast ignores the stares he gets. Students are spread all throughout the large room, sitting with all their friends and probably talking about him. Spouting lies. Calling him names.

_ “I don’t care about other people’s approval.”  _ He imagines Shieda saying in his head. Rhaast did never figure out what was wrong. His phone buzzes as he gets another snap from Eve. She’s the only one that ever sends him shit on there. He doesn’t look. 

Sitting alone at a table, Rhaast waits for Kayn. He doesn’t have to wait long. Shieda shows up looking tired. His dark hair is tied up in a messy bun and he slumps against Rhaast’s side when he sits down next to him. 

Bathroom,” Rhaast murmurs. He stands up. “C’mon—babe.” He says it on purpose this time. 

Shieda shoots him a strange look. Rhaast grabs Kayn’s hand to pull him to his feet and watches him wince. 

“What?” Rhaast flips Shieda’s hand over. His knuckles look much like his own, blooming with purple and red, though not nearly as severe. “Shie?” 

 

Kayn doesn’t answer, staring at something over his shoulder. Rhaast twists to look at—

 

Jarvan sidling up to Garen and Xin and Fiora, looking sullen and sour because of the black eye ruining his normally smug face.

 

Rhaast looks down at Kayn’s hand, then back at Jarvan, then back at Kayn.

“Oh  _ babe.” _

 

***

 

“You’re  _ so— _ ,” he has to emphasize it when they’re situated in the too-familiar basement bathroom. Rhaast doesn’t think he’s ever been as attracted to someone as he is to Shieda right now. He presses his lips against Kayn’s with enough ferocity to knock the back of the boy’s head against the wall. “—hot.” He finishes. “You’re so  _ fucking hot,  _ Shie.”

“I know,” Kayn says slyly against his lips. 

Shieda pushes himself up onto the edge of the sink, clumsy. He ropes Rhaast in with his long legs and Rhaast is fine with it. He’s fine with all of it. They still have plenty of time to enjoy each other’s company before class starts. That’s the only benefit of arriving early. So he intertwines their bruised fingers together and relishes in the fact that he’s making out with the most attractive boy in the entire school. 

 

(Rhaast kinda wants to try it. That couple shit.)

 

“Hey cuties.” Evelynn startles him so bad that he immediately pivots and knocks his head into the edge of a hand dryer.

“What—get  _ out,”  _ he hisses, rubbing his head. She always comes out of nowhere. He hates it.

“You didn’t even open my snapchats,” Eve pouts. “So I decided to hunt you down myself.” She winks at Kayn. “Hi Shieda.”

“Hey Eve.”

“Did you see Jarvan? He has a nasty black eye. Was that you?” She squeezes Rhaast’s arm, always so  _ close.  _

“It was me.” Shieda sounds proud. Actually proud and Rhaast can’t fault him. He hates Jarvan. Always acting like he’s some sort of fucking royalty. It pisses him off.

_ “You?  _ Oh honey you two are  _ made  _ for each other,” Evelynn laughs. “Give me details? I’m  _ dying  _ to know what happened.”

Kayn lifts a foot up onto the sink and leans his head on his knee. His bangs frame his face as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Jarvan walks home from school so I waited for him on the bike path. He didn’t even have time to react.”

“Did he know it was you?” Rhaast asks eagerly.

Shieda laughs, a little manic under the right scrutiny. “I made sure he did.” 

There it is, Kayn’s delightfully intimidating confidence. His sheer cockiness. Rhaast loves it.

 

The early bell rings, signalling five minutes before class starts. Evelynn giggles. “Oh Rhaast, your boyfriend is just as crazy as you are.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Rhaast says automatically. He glances at Shie, who is impassive.  

“Sure honey,” Evelynn hums, examining her sharp nails. “I’m going to come in here tomorrow and find you two banging in the stalls.”

“We don’t bang in the stalls,” Rhaast scoffs.

She rifles noisily through her purse, pushing her notebooks and folder aside until she finds her nail file. “Not yet.”

“I’m really not that gay.” Rhaast snaps. 

 

(How long is he going to keep that up?)

 

Kayn pushes himself off the sink and retrieves his backpack from the floor. “I have to go to class, babe.” 

“Bye, Shie.” Rhaast watches him pull down his hair as he leaves, no doubt looking to braid it as he always does.

 

Evelynn sighs, long and exasperated. 

“And everyone says Shaco is a funny guy? Rhaast you’re  _ hilarious.”  _

He dislikes that tone she takes sometimes, where she sounds patronizing.

“Fuck off.” He yanks his backpack to his shoulder. 

“You’re a disaster,” Evelynn laughs as he leaves. “I think that’s why I like you so much. Also you have great arms.”

 

***

 

Fifth period Chemistry ends up with one of the tensest atmospheres that Rhaast has ever experienced. Surprisingly  _ not  _ because of Jarvan, who glances murderously at the both of them—Kayn especially. Shieda doesn’t even seem to care, confident and collected as always, and that seems to bother Jarvan even more. No, instead it’s Viktor and Jayce, who seem to be at each other’s throats for some spat that happened in robotics club yesterday. Rhaast doesn’t know the details (Evelynn probably does) but the air in the room practically crackles with animosity. 

It’s fighting weather. Rhaast’s favorite. He knows it shouldn’t be, however he remains quietly addicted to the memory of fists colliding and the  _ crunch  _ as a weak nose gives way. It’s a bad thing, but Rhaast can’t help it.

He looks at Shieda and suddenly notices the subtle hint that he’s not as confident as he seems. The miniscule bounce of his normally still knee under the desk. A shake of nerves. Rhaast still hasn’t figured out what’s wrong.

As the class wraps up, (Viktor’s stare drills into the back of Jayce’s head like a laser) Rhaast quickly stuffs everything in his backpack and meets Kayn at his desk. 

“Did you finish the study guide already?” He asks.

“Why, you wanna copy it?” Shieda zips his bag closed.

“Yeah,” Rhaast says unabashedly. 

They move out of the class towards the stairs and Jarvan catches up to them before they reach the stairwell. Rhaast and Kayn both immediately turn to face him—and Garen. The boy’s gaze is smoldering. 

“Fucking  _ bitch,” _ he spits. 

“Took you long enough to get to me,” Shieda says. Rhaast’s mouth cracks into a half-smile at the tone. Ice cold and sharp as knives. “Couldn’t find me with just one eye?”

Jarvan’s scowl deepens. Rhaast starts to take a step in front of Kayn—he’s just so  _ punchable _ —but one of Shieda’s hands knocks against his hip, the quick touch keeping him in place.

“Look, just—” Garen begins to talk but Jarvan cuts him off.

“I’ll get you expelled,” Jarvan growls. 

Kayn laughs. “I’m so scared.”

Jarvan’s gaze flits between the two of them. “You should be. Your guard dog isn’t going to be around forever.”

Rhaast makes another attempt to get in front of Kayn but this time a violent elbow to his ribs keeps him back. He’s fuming.  _ Guard dog?  _

To their credit, neither Jarvan or Garen flinch. 

“I wrecked you off school property,” Shieda sneers. “The school can’t punish me for that. Quit wasting my time.” He turns to go up the stairs, hooking one of his arms with Rhaast’s to drag him along. Rhaast’s patience is paper thin. His feet feel like lead, as if they want him to stay and duke it out like he really wants to. 

 

So when Jarvan spitefully reaches out and grabs the end of Kayn’s braid, yanking him viciously backwards, Rhaast’s rage flares crimson. Shieda yelps as he’s jerked back. Were it not for Rhaast’s solid grip he probably would have fallen over entirely.

 

“Oops,” Jarvan says, not sounding sorry at all. 

 

Rhaast glances at Shieda, both hands clutched over the back of his head and face tinted with pain. 

He wants to  _ ruin  _ Jarvan.

 

Garen is also surprised at Jarvan’s actions. He glances between the two of them, momentarily uncertain as he waits for action. This time no teachers have shown up. Mr. Yasuo is nowhere in sight.

Rhaast rips his backpack to the ground, a motion that still feels so familiar. He  _ almost  _ closes the gap between himself and Jarvan but instead falls crashing to the ground as Kayn grabs the back of his shirt and tips him off balance. 

_ “Rhaast,”  _ he props himself up with one arm and glances behind him at Shieda, eyes wild. “Go see Soraka.” 

He bares his teeth at Kayn.  _ Why’s he got to listen to him? Why’s he got to listen to anyone?  _ He pushes himself to his feet. Jarvan and Garen have backed away a little now, but Jarvan is clearly on edge, almost like he’s looking for any excuse to jump him. Rhaast will give him that excuse. Expulsion be damned.

_ “Now,”  _ Kayn hisses, tugging on his shirt again. It’s the desperate urgency that causes his intentions to sway. A single ray of light shining through his clouded judgement. 

He picks his backpack up off the floor and spares one seething glance at Jarvan before he stomps down the stairs. 

 

(One extra glance for Shieda. If he hadn’t been there—Rhaast would not have stopped.)

 

***

 

“Back so soon?” Miss Soraka ushers him into her office when he arrives, practically vibrating with anger. “We just talked yesterday.”

The social worker’s office is cozy and comfortable as always, if not a bit messy. Miss Soraka settles back in her chair and sips on her tea as Rhaast explains the whole situation.

“At least you didn’t get into another fight,” she finally offers. 

“I  _ know  _ but—” Rhaast kneads a pillow on his lap, still simmering. “He pulled Shie’s  _ hair.  _ What a fucking—” He makes an aggravated noise.  _ “Piece of shit.” _

Miss Soraka’s expression turns towards something more pensive. She sets her tea on her desk. “I’m sure you remember what I told you yesterday, so I won’t bother repeating it.”

Rhaast does remember. It had been a very  _ long  _ conversation about managing anger and proper coping methods. All stuff he’s heard before from other counselors and social workers.  _ You have a problem with anger, Rhaast. Why do you like fighting so much, Rhaast?   _

 

(He doesn’t know.)

 

“If you think you can’t control yourself, I can arrange for a quick schedule change,” Soraka motions towards her computer. “But based on what happened today I have faith that you can last the week.”

She really shouldn’t, Rhaast thinks, but he appreciates the fact that she won’t phone his dad. There’s a poster of the northern lights above her desk. He stares at the grainy color, mind buzzing.

“Rhaast, can I ask you about something?” She straightens a box of tissues on her desk.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, tired now. Just worn out. When all the adrenaline and rage starts to abate he’s always mentally exhausted.

“You mention Shieda a... lot—when you’re in here—” Soraka begins carefully. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Rhaast says on autopilot, voice a monotone.

Soraka tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yes, well, are you okay with that? You get so defensive whenever someone asks if you two are a couple. You two spend so much time together. Is everything alright?” 

Rhaast breathes. Five seconds in, five seconds out, three times to collect his thoughts. “We’re not dating. We don’t do anything romantic.”

“Do you want to?”

 

Five seconds in, five seconds out, seven times in a row. It’s hard for Rhaast to open up.

 

(Yes.)

 

“I really like fights.” He says haltingly. “Just the part where I fuck people up. I  _ like  _ it. I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Soraka’s pale eyes glimmer with something. Understanding, perhaps. “Rhaast, everyone’s got their own mountains to climb. Yours may be steeper than others, but you’re still climbing.”

Rhaast thinks about her words for a minute. “I think we’d be bad at that romantic shit.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“No,” he responds instantly.

The social worker knits her fingers together. “What are you afraid of?”

How does he put his thoughts into words? He’s bad at that. He’s bad in general, Rhaast thinks. He’s fucked up so much. Every brawl he’s ever gotten into aches on his knuckles. His family had to move because of him. Switch schools, switch houses—just because he’s messed up.

 

Dating Shieda? Well there’s a good chance he’ll fuck that up too. Make one dumb mistake that will cause everything to change.

 

“I’ll mess it up.” 

 

Miss Soraka tilts her head. “You’re improving. You might not.”

He swallows, mouth too dry. “But I might.”

She smiles. Eyes too bright. “Rhaast, in all the conversations we’ve had, you’ve never struck me as someone afraid to take a chance.”

 

***

 

He doesn’t see Shieda for the rest of the school day and he’s okay with that because his head still spins from the visit to Miss Soraka. Dad picks him up again, but this time after classes have ended normally. 

“No fights?” Azir asks. Tentative and tired.

Rhaast feels the slightest satisfaction when he repeats it back. “No fights.”  _ Almost _ , but he doesn’t tell dad that.

 

Rhaast’s weak attempt at finishing his trigonometry practice-final falls flat. Maybe it’s the heat. He flips his fan on and breathes. Five seconds in. Five seconds out. Five times in a row. 

“I’m not even that gay,” he mutters to himself, scribbling dark lines on the margins of his paper. 

Who is he kidding? His pencil’s lead snaps from the pressure and and he throws it at the wall. His phone buzzes as he receives yet another snapchat from Evelynn. 

With a low sigh, Rhaast unlocks his phone and checks what she’s sent him. The first couple snaps are of Jarvan walking into school, his freshly swollen eye vividly purple and the caption  _ “WAS THIS YOU????”  _ plastered across the screen. The most recent is of the school library, where way in the back of the library, Kayn is hunched over his papers. So bewilderingly unlike him.

_ “he’s here again.”  _ The caption reads.

Rhaast looks at the ceiling and sets his phone down. He runs his fingers through his hair, like Shieda does to him. Except it’s not quite the same since Shieda’s fingers are more nimble. The fan whirrs through his mind. Maybe the heat adds to the restlessness eating at his brain. 

He packs his backpack up and wanders to find his dad in the kitchen, doing work shit on his laptop. 

“Can you take me back to school?” He asks. 

Azir’s eyebrows furrow. “Back to school?” He echoes.

“The library’s open late cause of finals,” Rhaast explains. “Also it’s too hot here,” he adds.

“Too hot?” Azir frowns. “I have to go pick up Sivir in an hour and a half if you can wait.”

Of course dad wouldn’t realize it was hot. He loves warm temperatures too much. Rhaast doesn’t want to wait that long though.

“I’ll just ask Aatrox.” He shrugs, returning to the hall.

 

He doesn’t knock. No one in the household does, to everyone’s complete annoyance. Instead he cracks the door open and sticks his head in. His brother is lying on the bed and Rhaast can hear Aatrox’s music from across the room even with his earbuds in. He must have gotten home not long ago, even his shoes are still on.

“Hey,” he says loudly.

Aatrox raises one bold eyebrow at him. “Get out.”

“Can you take me to school?”

His brother removes one of his earbuds, electric guitar sounding tinny and far away. “Why?”

“I want to go study,” Rhaast explains.

Aatrox slips the earbud back in. “No. Ask dad. Get out.”

Rhaast opens the door a bit wider. He runs his tongue over his braces. “Please?” 

Aatrox takes out both earbuds this time and sits up. They both know Rhaast  _ never  _ says please.

“You’re doing all my dishes next week.”

A deal. “Fine.”

 

***

 

The short ride back to school is quiet. Aatrox puts on music and rolls down all the windows till the breeze rips away every attempt at conversation. When they’re pulling up to the school, Rhaast drums his fingers once on the dashboard and speaks up.

“Aatrox?” 

Aatrox grunts in acknowledgement.

He almost doesn’t want to continue. “How’d you know that you and Draven would work out?”

Aatrox’s mouth twitches into a sharp smile at the mention of Draven. “Dunno. We clicked. We still might not work out.”

Rhaast looks down at his hands. Breathes.

“You and Shie then?” Aatrox asks, slowing to a stop in front of the school.

Rhaast steps out of the car. “Maybe,” he admits. 

Aatrox’s smile grows a little sharper. More of an ‘older sibling’ leer than anything else. “Finally.”

Rhaast gets out. “Yeah.”

He takes the steps up to the main doors two at a time. Then Rhaast heads straight to the library. On the way he finds Evelynn, Irelia, and Akali, refilling their water bottles at the nearby drinking fountain. The dance team must not have ended for the year yet.

“Hey Rhaast!” Eve darts over, Akali trailing reluctantly behind. “I heard you got into a slugfest with Jarvan earlier.”

“No.” Rhaast shakes his head. “I didn’t fight him.”

Evelynn pulls out her phone. “I guess I heard wrong then. What are you doing here?”

Rhaast doesn’t have an immediate answer. Evelynn sent him the snapchat after all. She must know. 

“Done being silly?” She offers an answer to his silence.

Rhaast huffs. “Fuck off.”

Eve sighs dramatically. “Guess not. I won’t give you any favors when I’m a celebrity.”

Akali rolls her eyes and grabs Evelynn’s wrist. She starts to pull her towards Irelia. “Come on Evie, we have to go back.”

_ Evie.  _ He’ll keep that.

Rhaast remembers, just before they get too far away. “I said hi to Aatrox,” he calls out. 

Evelynn whirls around and blows him a kiss. Once her back is turned, he heads on to the library.

 

It’s easy enough to locate Kayn. Based off of Eve’s snap Rhaast makes a beeline to the back of the nearly empty library and finds him sitting all alone at a table behind the history section. 

“Hey Shie.” 

Kayn jolts, clearly surprised at his appearance. He yanks out his earbuds and when he looks up at him Rhaast can tell he’s been crying. His eyes shine suspiciously, cheeks are way too red. 

“What—how did you—”

“Eve.” Rhaast sits down and swings his backpack onto the table. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Shieda sniffles. He shakes his bangs into his eyes in what Rhaast knows is an effort to hide his face. “You never go to the library.”

“Neither do you,” Rhaast counters. He slides his chair closer, until his shoulder brushes against Kayn’s. “What’s wrong?”

No answer. He can hear Miss Soraka.  _ “You’ve never struck me as someone afraid to take a chance.”  _

Rhaast dips his head close to Kayn but the other boy ducks away. He’s not acting normal at all. His frighteningly confident personality has dwindled to something quiet and withdrawn.

“Let me kiss you,” Rhaast tells him. 

He leans in again and this time Kayn tips his head up to meet him halfway. It’s more… gentle than how they usually make out. Rhaast cradles his face with one hand and finds Kayn’s cheek wet under his thumb.

“I—want to date,” he decides bluntly, pulling away. Just saying it. 

 

Shieda stares at him blankly. “Rhaast,” he finally speaks up. “Why do you like me?”

He blinks. “What?”

“Because I have long hair and wear eyeshadow sometimes?” Rhaast sees the way Kayn’s fingers fidget with themselves.

“No! I—” He falls suddenly silent. So  _ bad  _ at shit like this. It’s so difficult to say what he means. Five seconds in. He spies Kayn’s hand, knuckles still bruised. 

“No, Shie, you’re—” He starts over as he searches for the right words. Maybe  _ “You think like me,“  _ or  _ “You’re so confident and cocky,”  _ or  _ “You’re so fucking hot and I do really like your hair.” _

Instead Rhaast feels embarrassed, cheeks reddening as no answer seems to fit right in his mouth. “I—really like—you,” he finally stammers weakly.

A small and exasperated smile cracks across Shieda’s face. “You dumb idiot. I really like you too.”

Why was he so worried about this before? He kisses him again, quick and warm. “I wanna call you ‘babe’ all the time, screw this unofficial shit.”

Kayn’s fingers wander to Rhaast’s hair, combing it away from his forehead. “Dumb idiot,” he repeats, but with more affection in his tone.

“Now tell me what’s wrong.” He will  _ not _ be distracted this time. 

 

Shieda’s expression returns to hesitant dejection. He doesn’t say anything.

Rhaast lowers his voice. “C’mon Shie.”

Like a damn breaking, Kayn sighs shakily. “I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough for Zed.” He reveals, barely louder than a whisper.

Whatever Rhaast had been expecting, this was not it. He hasn’t spent a lot of time around Shieda’s adopted parent, but he’d always seemed pretty normal and straightforward. If not a little mysterious.

“I thought you didn’t need anyone’s approval?” He asks, trying to understand. 

Kayn practically winces, as if the idea of revealing this sore spot is painful. “I don’t!” he says defensively. “Except Zed’s—” His eyes are shining. “Dad’s—”  

Even with Rhaast’s weak grasp of emotions, he knows that this is a big deal for Kayn. He loops an arm around Shieda’s shoulder and tugs him closer. 

“He’s so  _ cool  _ and collected  _ all the time,”  _ Shieda desperately explains. “And I try  _ so  _ hard to impress him and it’s  _ never  _ good enough—I’m  _ never  _ good enough.” He’s practically in tears. This is the first time Rhaast’s seen him like this. “I’m trying so hard but finals are shit and stress is shit. At this point I—” His voice drops to a miserable whisper. “I almost feel like he doesn’t want me anymore.”

Rhaast doesn’t really know what to do. Comforting people during emotional meltdowns falls outside his area of expertise. Especially when it’s Shieda who  _ never  _ cries.

“Shie.” He squeezes the boy’s arm. “Why the  _ fuck _ wouldn’t he want you?”

Kayn leans against him. “Maybe when I ace every final he’ll be proud, but I doubt it. Dad doesn’t care. He barely even talks to me.” He wipes at his eyes. 

He swipes his tongue over the front of his braces. “Man, fuck what parents think.” 

Kayn looks at him, gaze watery.

“It’s probably some dumb misunderstanding, but if he actually doesn’t think you’re good enough then fuck him. You’re—” His words start to trip over themselves. “Hot—Shie.” Not really the word Rhaast was looking for but it’s too late now. He tilts his head to press his lips below Kayn’s eye.

Perhaps at a better time Shieda would respond with  _ “I know,”  _ or  _ “Thanks for finally noticing.”  _ But instead he quietly absorbs Rhaast’s attempt at comfort like a sponge. It’s liberating, even though it hasn’t fully sunk in yet, that Rhaast doesn’t have to worry about holding back with affection.

 

They make out for a hot minute until Mrs. Norra—the librarian—catches them and promptly kicks them out.  _ (“This doesn’t look like studying!”) _ Rhaast doesn’t care, but he tries to staunch Shieda’s nearly invisible anxiety. 

“We have a week left, who cares?” He shrugs as they walk down the hall. “You should just tell your dad what you think.”

Kayn rubs at his reddened eyes. “Yeah well, what if I’m right?”

“What if you’re not?” He feels like the social worker now.

A quiet breath. Kayn tips his head back to look at the ceiling. “I’m so stressed out,” he speaks honestly. Rhaast wonders if he knows the  _ five-five-five  _ trick. 

 

He can’t offer much. His own advice is pretty shitty in his opinion. But distracting someone is easy enough. “Tell me about how you punched Jarvan. Details.”

A grin breaks through Shieda’s mood. He is proud again and Rhaast loves it. 

 

Evelynn will have a field day, but Rhaast doesn’t care. Jarvan’s going to heckle him and Aatrox will probably tease him for a while—and he  _ still  _ has no idea how to do romantic couple-y bullshit—but he  _ doesn’t _ care. 

 

As long as he can keep Shieda smiling like that he will be fine. A prideful, arrogant grin that proves just how much they’re made for each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra random tidbits that i wasn’t able to fit in about the au:
> 
> jayce accidentally dropped the robot that viktor had worked the whole year to perfect for competitions. It smashed into a bajillion pieces and viktor was not pleased at all.
> 
> ekko scores incredibly high on every final. he’s also in a bajillion clubs at once so nobody understands how he has the time to get good grades while staying involved. 
> 
> jarvan continues to sulk until his face no longer looks purple. Over the summer he meets a girl that just moved into town (shyvana) and his tolerance for people he deems ‘unsightly’ improves. 
> 
> Garen and kat continue to be secret until rhaast gets particularly restless one night and outs them.
> 
> evelynn keeps flirting with everyone, but only because she wants akali to see how available she is.
> 
> lux continues to get taught about anarchy by the weird new kid. (sylas)
> 
> mr yasuo falls asleep at his desk while waiting for everyone to finish their history final. 
> 
> zed is trying, but his attempt at being a super cool, relaxed dad got out of hand. thankfully he and shieda work it out after a series of epic miscommunications and one more meltdown. 
> 
> irelia is captain of the dance team and is highly popular. 
> 
> norra is the yordle that yummi is looking for. of course she’s a cat lady.
> 
> pyke volunteers at the local aquarium over the summer. he's having a good time.
> 
> there’s quite a few references to characters in my word choice and stuff. hope you enjoy lol. my biggest regret is that i only thought of the "stay in your lane" joke while writing this authors note. :(
> 
> exxrta:::
> 
> i know not evveeerrything is resolved and the focus leaves jarvan, but the focus wasnt really meant to be on him in the first place. also, on jarvan as the 'villain' he's not meant to be like, this asshole character, but ppl in school view other people differently. jarvan's not like, the worst, he just dislikes troublemakers and assholes, which is rhaast. but ofc since this is rhaast's story we don't really get to see any sympathetic sides to him.
> 
> ill probably return to this in the future between more serious fics bcause this is cute and there's a lot of antics + different stories to be had and i like writing characters interacting together lol. whenever i get an idea i might pop one in here. 
> 
> ty for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhh, high school is the worst.
> 
>  
> 
> thank you for any and all comments/kudos, etc. i read and try to reply to every comment. :^)
> 
> tumblr is @no-shxme feel free to drop into my ask box with questions/comments/ideas, etc :}


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